


Time Is Slipping Through Your Fingers

by NikaChan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hospitals, M/M, major character sickness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 09:07:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6747751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikaChan/pseuds/NikaChan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time had been passing too fast for Iwaizumi to grasp it ever since Oikawa had been diagnosed. And when it comes to an end, he has to find a new resolve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Is Slipping Through Your Fingers

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for writing this when I listened to "sleepless in seattle" by the strive and I highly reccomend you to listen to it as well (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTvJWjAyrtA)

It could have been a beautiful day. The sun was shining, giving a pleasant temperature that was neither too hot nor too cold. Some birds were singing their songs and from time to time, the sound of rustling leaves filled the room, along with the soft wind that came in through the slightly opened window. 

It could have been a beautiful day. If it weren't for the fact that Iwaizumi was sitting in a hospital room, next to the bed his boyfriend was sleeping on. He eyed Oikawa for what felt like the millionth time. Maybe it really was the millionth time; he had lost count long ago. 

For once, there weren't any tubes connected to Oikawa's body and the monitors that had been beeping constantly for the last few weeks had been shut off.  
Iwaizumi watched closely how the other boy's chest rose and fell along with his soft breathing, sometimes slightly shaking.  
He frowned as his gaze fell upon Oikawa's face. His long eyelashes rested on his cheeks, looking like they were dancing whenever his eyelids twitched. Any other person probably wouldn't have noticed things like this, but Iwaizumi had been watching his boyfriend for long enough to know all the small details about him. 

Yet, he couldn't get enough. He never wanted to stop looking at Oikawa. He tried his best to burn the sight of his boyfriend into his mind, like a photography.  
Even right now – and during the whole time since he started staying at the hospital permanently instead of just occasionally – Iwaizumi still thought that Oikawa was the most beautiful being on this planet. He had thought so ever since they had been friends and he would never stop thinking that way about Oikawa. 

His tanned fingers slowly reached out to carefully graze his boyfriend's cheek. The delicate skin felt oddly cold against his fingertips, which caused a shaky sigh to leave his lips.  
His hand continued resting against Oikawa's cheek, until said boy slowly opened his eyes. 

Iwaizumi found his gaze glued to the brown eyes that stared up at him, only to move downwards to a pair of soft lips, that slowly curled up into a smile.

“Good morning, Iwa-chan.”

“It's noon.” 

Oikawa chuckled, but only for mere seconds. A pain filled expression covered his face and he started coughing. Iwaizumi was used to many things regarding his boyfriend's state, but he would never grow accustomed to something that sounded like Oikawa's lungs were trying to tear him apart from the inside. 

After a few heavy and shaking breaths, Oikawa had regained his composure and slowly sat up. Iwaizumi grumbled, his hands reaching out to grab the other one by his shoulders, stopping him from moving any further. 

“Don't push yourself.” 

“I'm not. I'm okay, I just want some water.” 

Iwaizumi's expression softened slowly and he let go of his boyfriend. “You should've told me so.” He said, reaching out for the water bottle on the night stand. He slowly poured some of it into the glass, then handed it to Oikawa.  
“Here you go.” 

A shaking pale hand reached out to grab the glass and as their fingers brushed, Iwaizumi tried his best not to flinch at the unusual coldness of his boyfriend's hands. 

Oikawa drank the water in one go and removed the glass to where it had been standing. “Thank you, Iwa-chan.” He smiled genuinely and leaned back with a quiet sigh.  
His hand came to rest on the bed, giving Iwaizumi the chance to look at the tattoo on his forearm. It wasn't like he didn't know it, especially since he had the exact same one at exactly the same place. A row of countless black stars proceeded from Oikawa's wrist to the middle of his arm. Iwaizumi smiled when he remembered how they got them. 

Oikawa had insisted on getting them after they had both turned eighteen – which had coincidentally been shortly after they had started going out - and Iwaizumi didn't really have the chance to decline.  
He slowly moved his hand to trace the path the stars made on his boyfriend's arm and he tried to touch every single one of them, no matter how big or small they were. He didn't notice how tears started to form in the brown eyes that were watching him closely. 

“You cried like a baby when we got these.” He muttered as he arrived at Oikawa's wrist, a nostalgic smile on his lips. 

“Well, you can't deny that it hurt! And besides, even you had shed a few tears. I saw them.” 

“Yeah...you're talking too much.” Iwaizumi whispered and linked their fingers. Then he raised both their arms to softly press a kiss against the back of his boyfriend's hand. He rested his lips against the skin, trying to ignore the coldness. Or more, he tried to give Oikawa warmth through both his hand and his lips. 

As he raised his gaze, he could see how Oikawa's lower lip started quivering and how he held back in order not to lose his composure over the sudden and unusual display of affection he was getting from the other boy. 

There wasn't much time left for the two of them. They both knew that, but no one mentioned it. When Oikawa had been diagnosed with a lethal sickness about one year ago, they thought that they still had hope. The treatment started to show results after some weeks and the doctor's had been overly positive that Oikawa would be able to defeat his sickness. 

However, his condition only worsened and soon, none of the treatments had had any effect anymore. Ever since that happened four months ago, Oikawa had been staying at the hospital constantly and Iwaizumi had come to visit him almost every day. 

The doctor's had still tried their best, but nothing had worked. So – after getting the agreement from Oikawa's parents, Iwaizumi and Oikawa himself – they had shut off the machines that had been keeping Oikawa alive until now. 

One week. 

That was the time limit they had gotten. Several days had already passed. 

Iwaizumi felt like the time was running through his hands like sand in a hourglass. Despite spending their whole lives together, he felt like he hadn't spent enough time with his boyfriend. They had been going out for about three years, but that wasn't enough. Iwaizumi wanted to spent the rest of his life with Oikawa. He wanted the two of them to grow old together. There were so many things they had yet to experience together. 

But they couldn't. 

Soon, Oikawa would be gone and that realization made Iwazumi feel like his heart would stop beating any moment. There were so many things that he had left to say and he knew that, if he wouldn't say them now, he'd regret it later on. When the time would have run through his fingers completely, and there would be no more chance for him to grab it and make it stop. 

“I love everything about you, Tooru.” He finally said, his lips still resting against his boyfriend's cold hand.  
Their eyes met just in time for Iwaizumi to see the tears that started to roll down Oikawa's pale cheeks. 

“Don't say things like that so suddenly, Hajime. You're making it sound like...it's over.” Oikawa sobbed once and hung his head, like it would stop his tears from flowing. 

Iwaizumi slowly raised his head. He let go of Oikawa's hand in order to carefully pull him closer by his neck. He pulled him forwards and leaned in until their foreheads were touching and he could look into those beautiful brown eyes intently. They still hadn't lost their typical glow, a tiny fact that still made Iwaizumi happy. 

“It won't be over. It won't ever be over. Because you're everything to me and I refuse to ever let go of you.” 

Iwaizumi's voice sounded more confident than he felt, but he meant his words. Oikawa was the only one for him. He'd never love anyone the way that he loved the boy in front of him.  
No one would ever look this beautiful in his eyes. No one would ever make his heart race with just a smile. No one would ever make him feel like he was at home, no matter where he was. No one would ever love him like Oikawa did. 

Oikawa looked like he was at a loss for words, the tears still running down his face. So Iwaizumi continued. 

“Even when you won't be here anymore...I'll still love you. I will love you until the day that I die.”

Iwazumi's hands moved to carefully wipe away the tears from Oikawa's cheeks, even when they didn't stop falling.  
Slowly, he could feel a pair of shaking arms wrapping around him and pulling him closer. 

“So will I, Hajime. I'll love you even longer. I'll love you forever.” 

Naturally, their lips met for a soft kiss. It wasn't just an ordinary kiss, it was a promise. A promise to love each other for longer as their minds could comprehend. A promise to love each other for so long that time wouldn't play a role in it. So that it would never run through their fingers again. 

When they parted, Iwaizumi softly licked his lips. They tasted like salt from Oikawa's and – by now – also his own tears. But right now, he couldn't imagine a better taste. 

“Forever is a long time. Are you sure about that?” Iwaizumi whispered, his fingers slowly running through Oikawa's brown hair.  
“Yeah, I am.” Oikawa answered almost immediately, his shaking hands softly cupping his boyfriend's face.  
“Because forever means nothing without you.” 

Again, their lips met for a kiss. This time, it was longing kiss. One that showed that they never wanted to be apart.  
Yet, they had to break it. The kiss and their life together. 

Iwaizumi gulped, but before he could say anything, Oikawa had already started speaking.  
“Hajime...I want you to promise me something.”

“Anything.”

Oikawa's lips formed into a bitter smile. “I won't ask you not to be sad. I know that won't be possible. But you have to promise me to get over the sadness. Somehow, I'll be watching you and I don't want to see you being sad all the time. So, promise me that you will be happy. And that you will continue living. You'll have to do it for both of us.” 

Iwazumi originally thought that he didn't have any tears left, but he had been wrong. They flowed just as endlessly as Oikawa's did and he didn't ever care to wipe them away.  
Slowly, he nodded. 

“Yes. I promise.” 

Oikawa planted a soft kiss on his nose. “That's what I wanted to hear.” 

They continued to just stare into each other's eyes for a few moments, until Oikawa started speaking again. 

“I'm sure that we'll meet again in our next lives. And then, I'll love you just as much as I do now.”

Iwaizumi smiled, even though that smiled carried a hint of sadness with it. 

“Me too, Tooru. We'll meet again, even after you will be gone.”

They both twitched when someone suddenly knocked on the door from outside, then opened it to step in.  
The nurse who had been caring for Oikawa over the last months looked at them with a warm smile. “I'm sorry Iwaizumi-san, but it's getting late. It's time for Oikawa-san's medicine, and he has to rest after his treatment.”

Iwaizumi showed the nurse a nod, then turned towards his boyfriend again. He pressed a light kiss to his forehead before pulling away.  
“I'll come by again tomorrow.”

“Yes. See you tomorrow, Hajime. I love you.”

“I love you too, Tooru.”  
With that, Iwaizumi gave his boyfriend's hand one last squeeze before leaving his room and the hospital itself.  
He used his hand to cast a shadow over his eyes when he stepped outside and the sun started blinding him. It could have been a beautiful day.

_____

Iwaizumi was restless. He was lying on his bed, his gaze wandering around the room, only stopping to look at the clock. 3 AM. 

Five hours had already passed since Oikawa had left him. It had been about 10 PM when he got a call from the hospital, telling him that his boyfriend's state had been worsening rapidly over the last hour.  
Of course, he had immediately jumped into his car and rushed to the hospital. And he had arrived just in time to hold Oikawa's hand and tell him how much he loved him as he drew his last breath. 

Afterwards, he refused to let go of Oikawa's hand for almost half an hour. He could feel how it had gradually turned colder and with that, the realization that his boyfriend really was gone had begun to sink in. 

And now he felt incredibly empty. Empty eyes looked around his room. Empty lips weren't able to let out any more words. An empty heart was beating in his chest, but he didn't feel it. 

When Oikawa had left, it was also a part of himself that had left him. A part that would never come back. 

Iwaizumi wanted to cry, but he couldn't. He was truly out of tears after crying so much in just one day.  
He remembered the last time that he had cried this much. It had been on the day that Oikawa had been diagnosed. They had stayed in his bed and cried in each other's arms until dawn had begun to break. 

Ever since then, Iwaizumi had lost his sense of time. It had all happened so fast. He had tried his best to spend all of his time with Oikawa and make it as memorable as possible.  
As a result, he had a lot of beautiful memories. Those memories belonged only to him and Oikawa. 

Slowly, his shaking lips formed into a small smile. He remembered the promised he had made to his boyfriend. He couldn't be sad forever.  
He had all those positive memories and Oikawa still held his heart. No one would ever take his place. And somehow, Iwaizumi was sure that they would meet again. In their next lives, maybe. And then, their love would continue. 

Still slightly shaking, Iwaizumi sat up. His gaze fell on the tattoo on his forearm. The sign that had shown everyone that he and Oikawa belonged together. That they were one, like two pieces of a puzzle that fitted perfectly. They had been very different, but together, they had been perfect.

“I'll continue living. Not only for me, but for us.”  
He whispered with a newly found resolve and then slowly traced the path that the many stars left on his skin. Time was still slipping through his fingers, but now, it didn't feel as bad anymore.

“For you, Tooru.”

**Author's Note:**

> I almost cried while writing this.  
> Thank you for reading, this work means a lot to me and I really wanted to share it with you guys.  
> You can always hmu on tumblr!! (@iwaizuumis)


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